One of many reasons

The following is one of many reasons why I know God's timing is perfect and that He is in control.

7 years ago today was my first date with Matthew. Though I wasn’t “old” when we met, I had wondered for a long time if I would meet “the one” and one day get married and have a family.

God’s timing cannot be ignored. If Matthew and I had met in college or earlier, nothing would have happened between us. Our lifestyles were quite different and I was naïve and just rude enough that I would have turned my nose up at him and gone the other direction. I did not have much understanding in my college days for people who lived other than what I thought was the right way to live. While I loved the Lord, I did not have much mercy and grace for others. I just found friends that were like me and spent my time with them.

When I met Matthew, he was the first guy I had met who was truly passionate about God and his relationship with God...I mean visibly passionate. His conversations were centered around how God had changed his life and about what He was reading in the Bible. It was such a beautiful thing and somewhat unbelievable. In fact, before our first date we met a group of people at PF Changs for dinner. On the way there, I offended Matthew by asking him if he was “for real.”

As a rule follower (see earlier post), I can often be legalistic about things. I am also quite anal and a list maker. Once I make a list, I like to get everything done so I can cross things off the list. This makes me feel like I have accomplished something with my time. I have been known to put things on the list that have already been accomplished just so I can mark them off. Again, I’m a nerd, but there is just something about marking things off the list that gives me an almost
euphoric feeling. Because of this trait, there have been many times in my spiritual walk when I read my Bible so that I could check it off my list. This wasn’t written on a physical list, but it was something I wanted to do each day. During these times, I would read my Bible but I couldn’t tell you about what I read. I was reading it to be able to feel good about having done it rather than to quench a thirst in my soul…a desire to really know God and His word.

From the beginning of our relationship, Matthew challenged me in this. I would like to say that I appreciated this challenge from the beginning, but if I am honest, I have to say that I would get irritated at him as often as I would be encouraged by him. I would get irritated because he was messing up my “system.” He was taking away my comfort with my laziness. How dare him!

The Bible says the Word of God is a double-edge sword, useful for teaching, rebuking, etc. I was not approaching the Bible in order to be changed. I wanted to read it so that I could feel good about reading it. There were times where great learning did occur, but I hate to admit these were not the norm.

I think the most important thing I have learned in knowing Matthew is how rich, wide, high, and deep is the Word of God. It is not that I didn’t know this before, but it is possible that I hadn’t experienced it in my life before…at least not in the same rich way. Matthew wants to share and talk about what he has read and learned in the Word. It is called the living Word for a reason. It is real, it is the Word of God, and it still applies to our lives today…1000s of years after it was written. God speaks to me through His Word. I am still imperfect, flawed, lazy, and undeserving of His love and life, but He speaks to me.

The question now is do I give my time and attention to His word?